Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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