Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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