i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
