I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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