were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
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So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
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You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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