Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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