I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
