Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
