literally had 100 drinks last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
