somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
