So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
