i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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