are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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