omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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