is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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