Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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