Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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