youre lurking in front of me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
