i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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