I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
