Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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