Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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