I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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