i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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