She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
