Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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