So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
