I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
