my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
