I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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