do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
