The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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