if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize