is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
