Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So. Much. Porn.
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