hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
