About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
