Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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