I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
