I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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