I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
