these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
