HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
