i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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