Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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