I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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