We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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