A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
