Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
