just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
