how can u be prego again
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
