I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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