y did u give ur computer a hand job?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
