there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
These tits shall not be calmed
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
