Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
