Tell her she can't have a vagina
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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