he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
