I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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