So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
