he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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