and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
