It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
