i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
