to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
