An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
