remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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