I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
