I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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